Cover & Pages 1–12

Where we are introduced to the daily routine of 
the Trooper, 
and accompany him to investigate 
a disturbance at a workplace termination.















28 comments:

  1. Great start... looking forward to more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is excellent! Looking forward to more...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent start. Looking forward to the next installment.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hooked already. I've been reading your blog since September, and this book really reminds me of your non-fiction (Especially "Is the U.S. a Fascist Police State?"). Caught one typo (I think). Page 8, second full paragraph, second sentence: "They are surprised by me [my] presence." Don't mean to be rude, only want to help out.

    Looking forward to the next 10 pages and to future installments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like it, so please keep it coming. The inserts are a good touch--bit of a riff on James Joyce.

    You're probably right about a publisher touching it, though. We all know how that one is.

    Here's mine.

    http://shoppingcartcity.blogspot.com/

    The free on-line novel seems to be a new trend. I got the idea from Gerard Jones (Ginny Good). If the novel has a future, it's as a labor of love, until the web goes dark.

    My stat counter is up to 178. Most of them are mine, checking to see if anyone has found it.

    KLC

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was a fun read, looking forward to more! One weird sentence possible typo on page eight, second sentence of third paragraph.

    “They are surprised by me presence.” (my instead of me)?


    Yeah I agree that the inserts are cool.


    --TW

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like it.

    However I disagree that you could not get a publisher for it. Hell, if that pervert who sold his book on Pedophilia on Amazon can sell his book, then why can’t you.

    Although FICTION, it has some frightening realities about life in America today. One could argue it’s a true perception of events based on fictional characters.

    As they say:

    “Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.”

    Will definitely read more. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good start.... I'll usually drop a novel in the first 50 pages... So far I'm interested and looking for more..... Keep me curious...

    Thanks for the Christmas gift...

    Econolicious

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks Gonzo.

    I think I can guess the punch line but it is certainly a timely read for the sheeple.

    Maybe you should do more to encourage distribution by frequenters to your blog. Likely THEY are sufficiently knowledgeable of the Orwellian Concerns that of more import would be the gap-filling they could serve as "middle managers" or "distributors" to educate the sheeple.

    Ironic that I was taught 1984 in public schools but now (while non-existent in public schools) it is rarely taught in private schools.

    Best and Thanks for sharing your text....

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is nearly trivial to publish on the Kindle. I'd love to read this but this format is too painful! Please publish on the Kindle.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Any chance of putting the entire thing on scribd or something similar?

    ReplyDelete
  12. taste like parody...with a an odd twist...
    like it....which is odd, since its not really my type of reading
    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  13. Totally realistic insight into the brainwashed mind of a simple soldier who functions as planned, and executes orders without too much thinking. Maybe some chapters or sections could be told from the viewpoint of a freedom fighter or similar for contrast, to make the soldier's simple-mindedness, cruelty and lack of compassion more obvious.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello there:
    I think it should be in .MOBI or .EPUB format for ebook distribution, but I don't understand the magazine-like layout and the notes larger than the main text. Too many things going on at once. Gonzalo no todos tus lectores somos multitask como tú ;-)

    However, I think Dan Brown and Ken Follet can sleep well tonite. Writing a novel is extremely difficult (your blog is very good and educational for the financial dummies as myself) but that doesn't mean you can write a good story all written in first person. BTW Stieg Larsson never thought his Millenium novels were any good...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Creo que el error es de la influencia español: "me presencia" o "My presense"

    ReplyDelete
  16. Who is paying the Trooper, and what is he being paid with? Hyperinflated Dollars, Hyperinflated Euros or Gold Coins?

    RE

    ReplyDelete
  17. Reverse Engineer asked, "Who is paying the Trooper, and what is he being paid with? Hyperinglated Dollars, Hyperinflated Euros or Gold Coins?"

    Good question: At the time that I wrote this (June–September, 2008), I was thinking the Millennial Depression would be deflationary. I wasn't so much concerned with monetary issues, but more with the social effects of a depression taking place in a police-state.

    GL

    ReplyDelete
  18. Gonzalo, I am honored. You actually responded to a comment.

    RE

    ReplyDelete
  19. Good start. Entertaining so far.

    First impressions:
    The trooper is a little too fascist. Bit of a bully, hiding behind his state-given authority. But always excusing his actions by invoking the Law.

    Will read and comment more.
    RC

    ReplyDelete
  20. Give a man a badge and a gun and it changes him

    ReplyDelete
  21. IT amazes me that about 535 people in congress have so much power to implement so many various and specific laws,without considering the consequences of these laws that are put together by lawyers already deciding we are guilty before anything is actually done.(precisely the opposite of our judicial system). How is it that those 535 or so people are smarter and wiser than the 350 million they respresent? i enjoyed the perspecitve you have given thus far.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Unless this trooper is going to go into a situation where all his 'training' just won't serve him, this is far too rah rah AUTHORITY mentality for my tastes.

    ReplyDelete
  23. really interesting. would like to read more.
    what will the trooper do with his safe?
    and what was tha shadow about?

    is the book for sale?

    ReplyDelete
  24. There is a reason that cops are selected that possess IQs below the average of society.......I suspect that a fair percentage are every bit as dull and robotic as your protagonist. It's the only way that they could do what they do.....not just follow orders and procedures but truly believe them.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You're still holding me. This will make a hell of a movie, too.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Weird that I read the whole thing. Trooper reminds me of Javert the by the book cop in les miserables.
    RT

    ReplyDelete

Regardless of whether or not you like this book, please feel free to comment.

GL