This may be the most disturbing dis-utopian novel ever written. Right up there with 1984 or The Road. C.S. Lewis in Perelandra or That Hideous Strength wrote a segment on evil that had this upside down feeling.
The Troopers voice is disturbing, the clipped, disjointed sentences are hard to read. Even worse is its' believability. The watermarks and footnotes add to the technological horror. I'm afraid that this may well be the fate that awaits us. It makes me long for the romance and adventure of Mad Max.
Please continue to publish. It may have cathartic value or inoculate us to the horror of the future. But like a car crash that I can't not look at, I can't stop reading.
I really like the story, though it would never sell. The choppiness and simplicity of the writing is great in the sense that it conveys the Trooper's inner hollowness, but the style is too easily mistaken for crappy writing. Moreover, too many people actually have thought processes not much more sophisticated than the Trooper's, which would make this book quite difficult to understand. I'm enjoying the story (well, enjoying the literature, not really enjoying the reality it depicts and the parallels to the current U.S.), and will continue to read! Can't wait for next Saturday.
Hi. I am thoroughly enjoying this. the reading is not hard and think this could be a pretty good movie. the short stacatto lines of the trooper is appealing. please keep going with it. alan
I'm linking it and the cover it's prett awesome too. Nonetheless, somebody told you before, the staccato style is kinda hard to sell. You'd need some revising and some editor input to make it more readable. Anyhow, I see it as a good script for an HBO movie directed by Guy Ritchie. It would be cool as hell...He could translate your staccato-weird style to the screen. BTW do no travel to the US anytime soon becuase I think the TSA boys are gonna grope you in the "cuartico" ;-)
I don't know what this says about me, but the trooper excites me. I like his uncluttered view of society and his world and his place in it. I admire his bald physical strength and ability to subdue other men. Perhaps as his polar opposite I find his simplistic view of the world inviting. And perhaps he brings out a latent desire in me to be subservient to a stronger male. In any case, this writing does a brilliant job of taking me to a place I've never been before and allowing me to experience what it feels like to control and dominate other men and women completely. An addictive read. Thank you Mr. Lira.
I am thoroughly enjoying this novel as it unfolds. The style is different but that is to its credit. My mind is reeling thinking about how many ways this could go. The church scene is classic to me - I could literally hear satan laughing in the background of that... "Yes... blame me... you're perfect in all of this... no need to examine yourselves at ALL. HA HA HA!!!"
I am not sure which one but there was a Hellraiser movie that concentrated on the life of a corrupt cop. At the end Pinhead confronts him with the truth of what he was doing and says sinisterly ... "Welcome - to - HELL". I do hope our officer has a similar experience. Encounters with forces that are not impressed with uniforms or badges nor intimidated by electric tasers or firearms or human backup. Small children that appear and ask interesting questions before vanishing... old men with broken teeth who are trespassing ... they smile wickedly and cackle "Whats you doin' son?" after yet another arrest/shooting or another citizen whose life conflicts with his sacred pursuit of mans laws. Please keep writing. Very good so far :)
So far, extremely interesting, and highly disturbing. I find the following to be of particular interest, and something that you've intentionally engendered.
1). The trooper, being a man of appearencs, fails to see the bad where it exists, but instead projects it onto conviences and situations where he has the upper hand.
2). Those same appearances allow him to commit attrocities in the name of the law with impudence and a "clearish" conscience.
3). Your protrayal of the tyrrany of the possible bad outcome is masterful, as is your portrayal of the protected being the victem of their protectors.
Now that you have established the character of The Trooper, I'm interested to see where you will go from here, as too much further exposition on this will eventually lead to heavy handedness. Will there be a contrasting anti-anti-hero, ala Heart of Darkness. (Will The Trooper meet his antithesis; a moral man who represents what John Galt might have done if he had chosen to stand and fight?). Will The Trooper run afoul of the masters he is currently ignorant of? Or will some highly unlikely eppaheny change him from a book burner to a Back lover? I personally am betting on a severe beatdown that would be the natural conclusion of the distopian victorious story that you are painting.
So far, so good GL! I appreciate your writing style, very clear with what you're trying to do while still maintaining subtlety. I laughed out loud at the ultra-secure, invisible, empty safe. What a perfect metaphor for the security apparatus in the United States! What are we "securing," our freedom or our wealth? Neither of those things exist any more!
And I also appreciate the articulation of the trooper's obedience = security = freedom mindset. It reminds me of something Bill Hicks used to say, "You are free to do what we tell you to do!"
Already, nominally in order to prevent terror and rape, our hero has beat up a guy who just got fired, intimidated a neighborhood of nice dog-owners, and molested a young girl.
Nice touch with the bar scene as well, shedding light on the inner insecurity that drives the trooper to put on a uniform and drive the big car around and play that whole game.
One criticism I have is that the story could have unfolded in a more subtle way. Many people sympathize and openly hold the point of view of the trooper. I would have liked to see a more sympathetic hero early in the novel who, as the story progresses, is revealed to be the obsessive sociopath he is.
All in all a great work though. I'm also impressed by your understanding of contemporary American social interaction. Did you live here or go to school here, or is this just second-hand knowledge from visits and TV? Impressive either way.
So after reading, I went to your wikipedia page. www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonzalo_Lira
Sorry about the "first-try" impression I had of the Trooper novel. Didn't suspect you were so experienced as a writer and filmmaker. But NOT because of the quality, but rather, because of the format of releasing Trooper a chapter at a time on the web. I would definitely expect to find your Trooper novel in an airport bookstore, already fully published.
This may be the most disturbing dis-utopian novel ever written. Right up there with 1984 or The Road. C.S. Lewis in Perelandra or That Hideous Strength wrote a segment on evil that had this upside down feeling.
ReplyDeleteThe Troopers voice is disturbing, the clipped, disjointed sentences are hard to read. Even worse is its' believability. The watermarks and footnotes add to the technological horror. I'm afraid that this may well be the fate that awaits us. It makes me long for the romance and adventure of Mad Max.
Please continue to publish. It may have cathartic value or inoculate us to the horror of the future. But like a car crash that I can't not look at, I can't stop reading.
Best segment yet...I'm growing to like the multi-viewpoint notes and added psychology of the "other" characters...interesting style. I'm hooked!
ReplyDeleteI really like the story, though it would never sell. The choppiness and simplicity of the writing is great in the sense that it conveys the Trooper's inner hollowness, but the style is too easily mistaken for crappy writing. Moreover, too many people actually have thought processes not much more sophisticated than the Trooper's, which would make this book quite difficult to understand. I'm enjoying the story (well, enjoying the literature, not really enjoying the reality it depicts and the parallels to the current U.S.), and will continue to read! Can't wait for next Saturday.
ReplyDeleteHi. I am thoroughly enjoying this. the reading is not hard and think this could be a pretty good movie. the short stacatto lines of the trooper is appealing. please keep going with it. alan
ReplyDeleteI'm linking it and the cover it's prett awesome too.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, somebody told you before, the staccato style is kinda hard to sell. You'd need some revising and some editor input to make it more readable. Anyhow, I see it as a good script for an HBO movie directed by Guy Ritchie. It would be cool as hell...He could translate your staccato-weird style to the screen.
BTW do no travel to the US anytime soon becuase I think the TSA boys are gonna grope you in the "cuartico" ;-)
I don't know what this says about me, but the trooper excites me. I like his uncluttered view of society and his world and his place in it. I admire his bald physical strength and ability to subdue other men.
ReplyDeletePerhaps as his polar opposite I find his simplistic view of the world
inviting. And perhaps he brings out a latent desire in me to be subservient to a stronger male. In any case, this writing does a brilliant job of taking me to a place I've never
been before and allowing me to experience what it feels like to control and dominate other men and women completely.
An addictive read. Thank you Mr. Lira.
-Nathan
I am thoroughly enjoying this novel as it unfolds. The style is different but that is to its credit. My mind is reeling thinking about how many ways this could go. The church scene is classic to me - I could literally hear satan laughing in the background of that... "Yes... blame me... you're perfect in all of this... no need to examine yourselves at ALL. HA HA HA!!!"
ReplyDeleteI am not sure which one but there was a Hellraiser movie that concentrated on the life of a corrupt cop. At the end Pinhead confronts him with the truth of what he was doing and says sinisterly ... "Welcome - to - HELL". I do hope our officer has a similar experience. Encounters with forces that are not impressed with uniforms or badges nor intimidated by electric tasers or firearms or human backup. Small children that appear and ask interesting questions before vanishing... old men with broken teeth who are trespassing ... they smile wickedly and cackle "Whats you doin' son?" after yet another arrest/shooting or another citizen whose life conflicts with his sacred pursuit of mans laws. Please keep writing. Very good so far :)
So far, extremely interesting, and highly disturbing. I find the following to be of particular interest, and something that you've intentionally engendered.
ReplyDelete1). The trooper, being a man of appearencs, fails to see the bad where it exists, but instead projects it onto conviences and situations where he has the upper hand.
2). Those same appearances allow him to commit attrocities in the name of the law with impudence and a "clearish" conscience.
3). Your protrayal of the tyrrany of the possible bad outcome is masterful, as is your portrayal of the protected being the victem of their protectors.
Now that you have established the character of The Trooper, I'm interested to see where you will go from here, as too much further exposition on this will eventually lead to heavy handedness. Will there be a contrasting anti-anti-hero, ala Heart of Darkness. (Will The Trooper meet his antithesis; a moral man who represents what John Galt might have done if he had chosen to stand and fight?). Will The Trooper run afoul of the masters he is currently ignorant of? Or will some highly unlikely eppaheny change him from a book burner to a Back lover? I personally am betting on a severe beatdown that would be the natural conclusion of the distopian victorious story that you are painting.
Please keep writing!
The Rogue Economist
PS: sorry about the typos. Positng fron a phone has it's issues. :)
ReplyDeleteRogueEcon
So far, so good GL! I appreciate your writing style, very clear with what you're trying to do while still maintaining subtlety. I laughed out loud at the ultra-secure, invisible, empty safe. What a perfect metaphor for the security apparatus in the United States! What are we "securing," our freedom or our wealth? Neither of those things exist any more!
ReplyDeleteAnd I also appreciate the articulation of the trooper's obedience = security = freedom mindset. It reminds me of something Bill Hicks used to say, "You are free to do what we tell you to do!"
Already, nominally in order to prevent terror and rape, our hero has beat up a guy who just got fired, intimidated a neighborhood of nice dog-owners, and molested a young girl.
Nice touch with the bar scene as well, shedding light on the inner insecurity that drives the trooper to put on a uniform and drive the big car around and play that whole game.
One criticism I have is that the story could have unfolded in a more subtle way. Many people sympathize and openly hold the point of view of the trooper. I would have liked to see a more sympathetic hero early in the novel who, as the story progresses, is revealed to be the obsessive sociopath he is.
All in all a great work though. I'm also impressed by your understanding of contemporary American social interaction. Did you live here or go to school here, or is this just second-hand knowledge from visits and TV? Impressive either way.
Thanks, keep writing,
Arthor Bearing
In Trooper's world there is no shade of gray.
ReplyDeleteAnything other than black or white would be disorder.
Disorder leads to chaos.
Shades of gray are not safe.
The clipped tone is perfect.
It will sell.
"You either with us or against us in the fight against terror."
"The American way of life is not negotiable."
So after reading, I went to your wikipedia page.
ReplyDeletewww.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonzalo_Lira
Sorry about the "first-try" impression I had of the Trooper novel. Didn't suspect you were so experienced as a writer and filmmaker. But NOT because of the quality, but rather, because of the format of releasing Trooper a chapter at a time on the web. I would definitely expect to find your Trooper novel in an airport bookstore, already fully published.
I think most law enforcement agencies would discipline an officer who patronized a strip club while in uniform.
ReplyDelete